The Journey of Recovery is a Rocky Mountain it takes Faith to Navigate its Terrain
The question you need to ask yourself: Are you or your loved one worth saving? I believe you are. It all starts with the first step forward… Ask for Help!
I grew up with a good family in a good home and loved by many. My perception was quite the opposite which caused a lot of the mess that came from addiction when I was older.
I was about 12 when I first started using drugs and alcohol profusely and that is where the un-manageability and powerlessness started…
I always felt awkward as a kid and acted accordingly. I was classified by my child study team ED emotionally disturbed “Hard to get along well with others” in which during the 90’s they sent you to psychiatrists to try you on different meds to change your God given nature as a human being. OK, maybe just a little bit of resentment towards the industry. I digress…
By the time I was 14 I was taking any one of a number of psychotropic medications, including amphetamine salts which is Adderall for ADD Attention Deficit Disorder. At one point I recall taking upwards of 24 pills a day at ages 14-16. This was during a time where I was in and out of drug treatment and psychiatric wards at least 3-4 times per year. This continued to adulthood and into my early 20’s .
After many visits to substance abuse facilities and many psychiatric wards there
was one thing they all had in common. They all told me to go to meetings, get a home group, and find a sponsor. I always thought I was an exception to the rule. I did NOT have this thing, the thing that countless members of my family had died from, addiction.
It wasn’t until my 30th visit to an institution that I actually gave it a shot. This time my insurance coverage for substance abuse treatment was entirely exhausted and I had to go to a state run facility. This state facility only tested for heroin and not opiates. Keep in mind that this was the tail end of the prescription pain pill epidemic before they regulated it. My urine analysis came back clean so they couldn’t treat me for opiate withdrawal. I had to detox “Cold Turkey” and thus started my Journey of Recovery.
Prior to this I had been trying to get into this facility for 2 months and nearly gave up hope of entrance to the rehab program. I was in touch with a treatment center in Florida which told me I must go to detox before I come down to their facility, but they told me to keep in touch with them until I did. So I called them every day until the day I entered into treatment. I remember this next part clearly I was picking my mother up from work and had been calling the state run facility in New Jersey for 2 months every morning to no avail. I was extremely “dope sick” and just threw up my hands and said,” God Please Help!” My mother got into the car and started yelling at her,” Mom don’t you know anyone that can help me?” She made a phone call and I was into detox in 45 minutes.
After 4 days of detox and not being treated for withdrawal at the state run facility I decided to ask for my clearance to hop on a plane to Florida. I remember vividly the palm trees and the really clean looking West Palm Beach Airport. I was taken to a local halfway house and admitted to an IOP Intensive Outpatient (which I did still have insurance benefits for) I then started my journey of time in recovery.
That was 7+ years ago July 18, 2009 and although I wish I could tell you I am sober for that long, I cannot. What I can tell you is this… One of the first things I learned once embarking on this journey of recovery through the steps of a prominent 12 step fellowship is that I needed to change the perspective of who I was and act accordingly. In my mind I was a beaten and broken individual with a low self-esteem and had no solution for this skewed perspective about myself, but someone once told me you combat a low self-esteem by doing esteem-able things. This 12 step fellowship gave me a purpose in life by giving me the opportunity to help others in my original condition expecting nothing in return. It gave me a process of self-observation to become a better human being.
Although I have had my ups and downs in sobriety there is one thing I have never forgotten about in my journey of recovery. I am worth it. I am worth the ground I walk on and I am worth the salvation from the hopelessness that drug and alcohol addiction had brought me to. I will pray that you may have the opportunity to feel the same way. Never give up hope!
In our luxury treatment center for addiction and substance abuse, we offer long term men’s therapy for alcohol dependence. Just call and you will connect with a Bright Futures care coordinator for a no cost assessment. Alcoholism is a chronic and deliberating disease that requires long term care. Our men’s recovery center caters to individuals from all over the country seeking sobriety and we will happily arrange your travel for a safe arrival at our destination.